I did something this year I’ve never done before. And it felt scary.
You may need to sit down for this. 😉
Here’s what happened.
We’re usually in town over Thanksgiving which is when we typically put up our tree. But this year we were away.
The following weekend we were slammed with kids activities, so no decorating again.
Next weekend we’re at a wedding and then over the holidays, away with our family for nearly 12 days.
Which leaves us with very little time to actually enjoy our decorations.
When thinking about the time and effort we put into getting them up, it just didn’t seem to outweigh the time we’d get to enjoy them all.
And that’s when I had my first thought of “should we possibly skip the tree this year?”
It was a fleeting thought in my mind. Like, “oh girl, don’t be silly. OF COURSE we’re not skipping the tree.”
But as that thought was seeded and Thanksgiving and weekends came and went, the idea kept making its way towards the front of my mind.
One night I cautiously mentioned it to my husband and was surprised by his speedy agreement (and relief in his voice).
But the kids. The kids! I knew they would be heartbroken.
I finally got the courage to bring it up with them (over hot chocolate with extra whipped cream). I mean who can be upset with foam on their face?
I slyly brought up the fact that it was time to decorate but we would barely be here to enjoy it. And maybe, just maybe we should decorate the mantel and put up lights outside but…perhaps…forego the tree this year?
I nervously muttered under my breath. “Uhhh…what do you guys think about that?”
Pretty much in unison: “That’s fine. Can I have more whipped cream mom?”
And that was that. No drama. No tantrums.
I think everyone felt a little relieved to get one more big project off their shoulders.
So we are for the first time without a tree and I’ve got to tell you…
I feel fabulous about it.
I certainly won’t make it a habit but it felt REALLY good to simplify our lives right now when we needed it most.
I’ll admit I’m still a little squirmish when friends come over and ask “where’s your tree?” But I tell them how it just didn’t work for us this year.
And as I say the words out loud instead of judgement I feel completely at peace with our decision.
You might be under pressure right about now too.
I want you to know that even in “traditions” you have options. You have choices. And most certainly, you can do what’s best for you.
Now I am not suggesting you skip the tree or the lights or the shopping.
BUT…if there is anything that is overwhelming you, stressing you out, done just for tradition sake (and not your joy), feels over-complicated – consider LETTING. IT. GO.
Giving yourself and your loved ones the gift of simplicity might be exactly what you all need right now.
Doing less allows you to give more of yourself.
To be more present.
To enjoy more time.
To have more gratitude.
Know that there doesn’t have to be a struggle.
Traditions are wonderful and sacred but they are also meant to be refreshed, reinvented or in some cases – even ditched.
If you know things don’t have to be so hard – but somewhere along the way someone taught you otherwise – get back to your inner voice.
Get back to your inner calling so you can live beautifully, powerfully and joyfully.
Have courage to believe that the way it’s always been isn’t the way it always has to be.
Have faith that when you say no to an experience, you are saying yes to a new one.
If you’re feeling inspired and want to shout out to the world how you’re going to simplify, join me over in the comments and be the voice of inspiration.
Doing what works for you can be scary. But nothing will change when things are always done the same.
With love and utmost appreciation,
XO,
Mridu
Yay!!! I decided this year to forgo the stress and expense of the annual Christmas photo card. EVERY YEAR I have done this, and every year, I dread it. Not to mention, because of social media, we don’t get nearly as many as we used to in return either. The cards are expensive, the postage, the licking……..ugh. I told my husband if he wanted to do it, he was welcome to. He said no, too. 🙂
Tracy, I SOOOO applaud you! What courage and what an awesome decision for you and your fam. I get so happy reading this. Thank you for sharing!! xo, mridu
When I realized the only thing I missed about a tree were the lights, I bought an LED string for the mantle and got rid of the rest. I don’t have little kids anymore and it was very freeing. Also my husband doesn’t miss climbing a ladder to the attic to get down boxes. Now everything fits into one deep closet used for luggage and storage. He loves it and now looks forward to the decorations instead of dreading it. I was always the one left to disassemble the tree and pack up the decorations, which I dreaded. Now it is 3 boxes and easy to manage. Best thing I ever did was to get rid of the tree and excess greenery.
This is beautiful Betty! Thank you for sharing and inspiring. The part I loved the most about what you wrote is: “He loves it and now looks forward to the decorations instead of dreading it.” What an amazing feeling!! Way to make your life (and holidays) work for you. So happy for you guys! xo, mridu
Finally realized this a few years ago. Traditions are great, but they have to work for you. Some years they just don’t. We have even (gasp) gone without gifts when holidays came at a bad time. We made it up by giving gifts when we found the RIGHT thing for the right person…not just when the calendar said so. Huzzah!
You just gave me the chills. This is so beautiful, bold and awesome! Way to make things work for your family and not when it’s “scheduled by society.” Thank you, thank you for sharing! xo, mridu
I have a small tabletop tree for those years when things catch up on me at the last minute. It’s quick, already lighted and decorated, and small enough to store that way. Just pull it out, plug it in, enjoy!
Wait….you just totally got me thinking if I could pull this off next year Judy! 😉 LOL! I might be a few years away from that (once the kids go to college) but I absolutely LOVE the idea of it. So practical and works well for you and your family. Wonderful!! xo, mridu
Love your blog. Like a breath of fresh air, when we are bogged down in the business of everyday duties, responsibilities, stresses , etc. A mini vacation for a few minutes to stop and reflect and remember what is really important, and what is not so important. If you have negative people wearing you out, love them from a distance. I like the notion of really being present, to enjoy the simple things, and maintain an attitude of gratitude.
The best things in life are not things. It’s your loved ones. And that includes your furbabies.
Remember to adopt; and support the rescues. And have a safe holiday. Don’t text and drive.
So many great messages in here Gail! Thank you for being a part of the discussion and for sharing your inspiration. These are wonderful reminders we could use every day! xo, mridu
Thanks for the feedback. I enjoy putting in my 2 cents worth. Another reminder, please volunteer in your community, it is so worth while.
Mridu. I applaud you for your courage to suggest and received buy-in for not having a Christmas Tree! Woo-hoo! It makes sense. I like to have a tree even when my husband is a scrooge so I did not expect him to help. Putting up is a lot more fun than taking down. Last year, one of my kid’s friend came over and helped put the tree down and the same kid helped to put away in Jan! How nice! This year my 2 girls put up the tree together and I saw them bonding. The pre-lit tree has lights that don’t work anymore but the girls found lights (my extra lights bought at 50% off the year before) to make it a nice tree. It warms my heart. We keep our tree simple and I am sure glad I did not take the ornaments that my aunt collected all her life. I rejected her desire to pass her ornaments to me and my kids. I know I was harsh but happy I said no.
Seriously though, if there is no tree due to travel, etc. the sky will not fall. I had a similar thoughts 2 years ago where there was no cake on my birthday 2 years in a row. I had a bit of a morbid thought. Then I had 2 cakes the year after! Haha!!!
Tiffany, you never cease to amaze me. 🙂 The creative and seemingly perfect ways you continue to simplify your life, truly does inspire me. Thank you! I love so much of your experience but especially applaud you for not accepting your aunt’s ornaments. Saying no takes a lot of courage. But it helps you say YES to so much more! Happy holidays sweet friend! xo mridu